Spanish Kicks

Copa Fatigue hits Clasico: Real 1 Barcelona 1

Copa Fatigue hits Clasico: Real 1 Barcelona 1

Tickets for Real MadridAre there too many clasicos?  Real and Barcelona huff and puff but cannot blow down the houses erected by their two substitute goalkeepers, Lopez and Pinto. Real’s Varane scores to equalise, but is the Copa asking for two clasicos too many ?   Match report by James Bogie….

Match Report by James Bogie

Match: Real Madrid v Barcelona, Spanish Cup first Semi Final, 2100 30 January 2013

Stadium: Bernabeu, Madrid

Blogger and commentweetor:  James Bogie.

Type of ticket and seating of our commentator: Category Two tickets (End view)

Expected Line-ups

Real Madrid: Adan, Essien, Carvalho, Arbeloa, Varane, X. Alonso, Khedira, Modric, Ozul, Ronaldo (who?), Benzema

Barcelona:  Pinto, Alba, Pique, Puyol, Alves, Xavi, Fabregas, Busquets, Pedro,  Iniesta and Messi.

Italian Blue Division Pilots who bombed Barcelona in March 1938: Cassiani, Rossagnigo, Di Tullo, Corti, Montanari, Ruspoli, Zucconi

Referee: Clos Gomez

Forecast by James Brodie: 0-5 (manita)

Madrid is inundated with travel professionals this week as it is the FITUR tourism fair. I may attend that tomorrow if I get a freebie; through my connections with I am vaguely considered to be involved in tourism.  There are usually lots of La Rioja wine stands with serrano ham and a few seafood specialities from Galicia so that will be very nice. But time to focus on the big match.

You can bet that most of the crowd did not pay for their ticket they will be company invites. But there is sure to be an electric atmosphere inside a packed Bernabeu Stadium tonight as these two old Spanish classics clash. Iker is not playing, balancing things nicely (now neither team will have a goally…). I’ll be posting my usual twottle here in the build up to this Copa del Rey sizzler. First I am off to a brilliant Peruvian restaurant  in Puerta del Angel for ceviche and pork.

The press is reporting today that, guess who, Man City will bid for Davie Villa. That is appalling news. #dontgodavid

Better news coming from respected tweeterlings: “el clasico en la tribuna”. This regards #exceptionalfootballingtotty.  The tribuna is the posh seats at the Bernabeu.  The WAG squad perched there tonight will be quite spectacular, one imagines. Not sure if Shakira Pique will be there but Messi, Ronado and Fabrigas all have Golden Boots. Even Iniesta’s girlfriend is tasty. But if Guti can pull it off (look left, then right, then left again!) I suppose anyone can.

Wolfgang has tweeted asking about restaurants in Madrid where you are likely to see football players. For those of you lame enough to want to hobnob with these moral wrecks  my tips are: the casino,  Hot at Plaza de Colon (the knocking shop that ensured  Roberto Carlos’ loyalty at Real for so long) and the (in)famous Asador Donostierra. The latter being the admittedly top-notch Basque eaterie where the Real Madrid top brass took their Bayern Munich counterparts before last season’s UEFA cup semi. Apparently the Madridistas overcooked their steaks a bit by appearing to patronise the Munich munchers, who ended up as sauerkrauts, complaining the Real Board’s dinner patter involved talking as if they were already in the final.

Talking with your mouth full – shocking manners. It is an elegant tradition though, and even the Barça people are invited to dinner at Asador Donostierra before the Clasicos.  I suspect these occasions are more about the next real estate/construction deal being carved up between ultra-rich company chairmen than brawny football chauvinism. Quite often you will see a photo of the Madrid players tucking into a large chuletón or three at this Asador, the wine apparently flowing. Good publicity I’d say.

If your brand of celebrornithology includes Mourinho, try the public Baths at La latina.

I am writing this from the terraza of a bar on Plaza Santa Ana, in central Madrid. There were a few buckshee Barcelona fans around here earlier, looking far too jovial and sober for my liking. And not Japanese enough.  I have forgotten to tweet out to Arancha and the staff at #JoseAlfredo, currently the best bar in #theworld’sbestcitymadrid.

Madrid is regarded as the capital of the world by most sensible people. Even some who are not, Hemingway for instance, who actually coined the phrase. Madrid is the benchmark, the bottom line. Anything involving drink, food and the pursuit of dark -eyed women by red-eyed men,  must and does begin and end here. In the capital.

Madrid is so far ahead of any other city in Spain it is laugh: even with a detestable football team followed by lilly-livered sychophants. How does that work?  From breakfast to the end of lunch at 7 pm, from Lavapies to Chamberi,  I salute the real Madrid.  And Real Madrid is anything but the real Madrid. Maybe its antithesis ?

Just jumping into a cab now, have been  getting a few beers down with some of the team.  Chants of “Atleeeeee-tiii” ringing around Plaza Olavide. Iniesta v Real Madrid kicks off in only about one hour. There is  a hell of a lot of traffic, gettng a cab is always daft in Madrid with such a good Metro system.

Some clasico goal stats. Ronaldo has scored 7 goals in the 6 clasicos he has played in, Messi has scored 17 in 23 matches, and could beat Alfredo di Stefano’s record of 18 tonight.  Messi has also made another 10 goals in clasicos, apparently.


Arrived at #bernabeu at last after a snail pace taxi ride and semi fracas with madrid-supporting twat, not very nice
i have got seated  near the away supporters end at the Bernabeu. great view of an impressive stadium
Of course there are very few Barsa fans here, except the apparent neutrals, the “Ronaldinho clappers”
Diego lopez will be in goal for Real Madrid, that will be a laugh….
I’m betting Shakira and Pique’s baby on a Barsa win, the madrid team was greeted with some cheering, now on the pitch warming up
Atmosphere hotting up here, the stadium is now about two thirds full, many stilll quaffing the low alcohol beer they serve at the bernabeu
without telling you…I’d love a butifarra
Tweeting out to The Silver Fox at Kitty O’Shea’s in Barcelona, there will be quite an atmosphere up there in Sarria…
Thanks for your messages about the likelihood of Messi surpassing Alf Di Stefano tonight as highest ever clasico scorer
Which Argy hitman will it be: little leo or Auld Alf?
Maybe compatriot Di Maria will chip in tonight though, if he can oust the girlish Modric from the line up
The real key to the match I suspect is in the hands of Iniesta however
Only 10 mins to go before KO. Players have gone off to remove their jackets and roll up sleeves
It’s almost time for that irritatingly loud #halamadrid song they play here. The one that is not nearly as good as #totsalcamp
Modric has just snogged Marcelo
Madrid’s defence looks well shaky: Varane, Essien, Arbeloa and Art Garfunkel (aka Carvalho)
That is #pileofshite and should be ripped apart by the Innies and The Messis
Trust Art  Carvalho has learnt his lines “Hello Darkness my old friend….
They’re off to a large (ish) cheer from a mainly neutral crowd
Ronaldo breaks down the left and pantomime jumps over Pique #stampoutpenaltyfraud

Xabi Alba Messi Alvez  foul.  Iniesta  takes and Alves is chopped again by Varane
5′ 0-0 scrappy start,
Barcelona are starting to find their game, Messi and Pedro beginnong to combine on the right
Essien knocks an appalling cross into barça box.
Is Essien, on the right, Mou’s secret weapon? If so, can I get a job as a manager ? Another cross from Essien is deflected and has Pinto in difficulty. Most keepers wouldn’t hav ebeen in difficulty there to be honest.
Messi dribbles down the right and combines with Cesc who almost scores. Barca have to get a strike on goal in this keeperless clasico
Messi iniesta, lovely chip to Alba who can’t hit the target. Real’s defence is well dodgy
A few lambadas by Iniesta and Barcelona are finding their rhythm. Dani Alves’ one man Canadian Barn Dance loses possession however
15′ 0-0 Art Garfunkel booked for a high challenge on Fabregas. A classical Mourinho era challenge
Alonso sets Benzema  through and his cross is inches too high for Ronaldo to knock in
Iniesta wins a free kick –  dangerous  – Xavi takes and hits the bar. Diego lopez still has not touched the ball
25′ 0-0.
Barsa almost score after a shocking back pass by Arbeloa
Near thing from Benzema, The game is still scrappy, crowd and players both tense. I wouldn’t mind going for a drink
It’s only the copa del Rey after all, hardly  worth the effort
Messi bursts through and is shoulder charged to the ground by Essien. Next move Ronaldo kicks Dani Alves
Barsa free kick out on the right, Messi tries to curl to Lopez’s left but it sails over
Madrid find a way thru Barsa defence and almost score
Benzema foiled by a horizontal Alves samba. There are chances at both ends , both teams look likely to concede a goal
40′ 0-0 the most exciting phase of play so far, Barça have has most of the possession but its all square on chances
The zombie Callejon is booked. Mourinho who greys in front of you, jumps from the box, then sits to prod his notebook (mistaken for Titos eye?)
Arbeloa has a Captain Ahab look or the look I imagine A to have.
Half Time 0-0. The cocido madrileño is not being devoured by the butifarra boys. Mou’s tactics to cut up the match are working you might say
I think we can say it would be better for all if the Copa del Rey ceases to exist. These clasicos cause #classicfatigue a worrying syndrome
Hello to Finbarr down at Triskel (Irish pub in Malasaña) who says “Get it doon yer neck, big man”
Not much chance here at the alcohol-free squeaky clean Santiago Bernabeu. If only everyone played at the Vicente Calderon.
Both teams suffering from #classicfatigue we need a blistering burst of pure Iniesta to fix this malaise….
Shortly after the restart Benzema almost scores
Some quality by Iniesta who dances through, the momentum is lost though and Cesc grinds to a halt
4′ GOL FABREGAS 0-1. More crap defending by Madrid, Ozil gives the ball away and Fabregas slots it past Lopez.
Essien gives Alba a stud tattoo. Nice.
Barsa now look firmly in command, Inny almost finds Messi on the edge of the box
Varane performs a Nobby Moore to foil Fabregas. A real striker would have eaten that chance. I mean Mary Tyler Moore.
Gillian Modric comes on
Zombie Callejon is a true Mourinho boy he never leaves an opponent standing.
Alves does a Dani Alves and belts one from outside the box but Lopez parries. DA is the acceptable face of decapitated fowl
Great move by madrid Ronaldo crosses and Pique just pips Benzema at the far post.
Modric looks desperately white and unhealthy as does Callejon, Barça team is stunningly tanned and healthy
Pedro is clean though one on one v Lopez but hits a strange shot semi chipped semi shanked left of the far post, he should have used left foot
Puyol motors hairily through the middle. Pedro is off for missing that sitter. Alexis is on
I have been texted by someone called Ester. She says I am a “capullo”. respect to the Est-meister.
80′ GOL MADRID 1-1 Varane header which Pinto cannot keep out
Wee man Thiago is on for Fabreggage. The fans chant something. low and uninspiring
Xavi sends  Alba through but Lopez saves. Jordi should have scored.
The King’s Cup tedium may have to continue up to the second leg in Barcelona. The second leg is conceived out of deadlock.
92′ Madrid have a corner and some Madrid fans tap their wrists brainlessly reminding the ref to add time
FULL TIME 1-1. All fairly pointless, unless you consider the Copa del Rey worth winning….
I am going to get the bus down to Tribunal and duck in to Malasaña. Respect to Twitterlings for following, messaging and retweeting.
I’ll be in #josealfredo later. Hope Ester isn’t there. Thanks for twistening again and I am really sorry about the spelling. Cheers. JB

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